


A Promise

by LadyBergamot



Series: Tea For Two [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and some fluff, Edeleth, F/F, Femleth, Mental Illness, coping with mental illness, new relationships, ptsd warning, trauma warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22729969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBergamot/pseuds/LadyBergamot
Summary: No matter how hard she tried, Edelgard can't seem to escape the past. Byleth, for her part, wants to help, but her emperor won't stop pushing her away.A short story surrounding mental illness and how it affects one's relationships.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Tea For Two [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631908
Comments: 7
Kudos: 122





	A Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler Warning: this short story contains spoilers from both Crimson Flower and Azure Moon.

_The air smelled pleasantly of chamomile - fragrant and warm compared to the lingering chill of an early spring day. Not even the garden in its full aromatic bloom could compete with the din of porcelain ringing through the air, or the toasty scent of tea leaves left soaking. Everything smelled of flowers and crumpets, which should entice any little girl sitting through her first tea party._

_Yet, lost as she was in a sea of strangers, Edelgard instead kept to her sullen self. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, struggling to lift her eyes from her gloves. Satin white, itchy against her skin - she wanted nothing more than to poke through the seams with the tip of her thumb._

_“Why, Lady Patricia!” exclaimed a woman sitting across from them. Her hair shone like the muted color of clementines. “Is this your daughter?”_

_Edelgard could hear the brittle clamor of porcelain as her mother, seated beside her, set her teacup over the saucer._

_“Yes, she is,” the Queen Consort gave her mild-mannered answer. A smile flitted from her lips, gentle yet nevertheless dimmed by the listlessness that glazed over her eyes._

_The other lady, nameless and faceless in Edelgard’s periphery, sat silently. She too seemed to bear a lightless smile. “What a pity,” she said a few moments later, “such a beautiful child.”_

_Edelgard looked up from her hands, but she stopped her gaze short of the other woman’s mouth - the skin around its corners were pulled taut by a subtle wrinkle in her skin._

_“And what has your brother, Lord Arundel, decided to do with her?” she continued, lifting her tea cup to her mouth. “Do you suppose King Lambert will let you keep her?”_

_Edelgard looked back at her mother with piqued and unnerving thoughtlessness. Her eyes gleamed with a question, burning for an answer. ‘What did she mean, mother?’ The unanswered words echoed deafeningly in the silence of her mind. “Mother?”_

_Patricia’s face seemed to vanish amidst the frills of her sunhat, but she nevertheless managed to maintain the self-same smile despite her wan and sickly pallor. “Lady Cornelia,” she finally spoke, “do you not know?” The Queen Consort paused to lay a gloved hand on the crown of Edelgard’s hair, causing her daughter to flinch from the unexpected gesture. Ignoring Edelgard’s confusion, Patricia fiddled with the loose chestnut-colored tresses of her hair, brushing it back behind her child’s tiny ears._

_“King Lambert knows nothing of my daughter.”_

_Edelgard’s gloved hand clenched into a fist over her lap. The shine in her eyes trembled as she bit back the burning urge to cry. Lady Patricia, on the other hand, cupped her daughter’s cheek, delicately turning her so she faced a tired mother’s love-worn gaze._

_“And he can_ never _know.”_

_"Mother!"_

“MOTHER!” Edelgard screamed as she woke with a start.

At first, she saw nothing. She heard nothing, save the hitched fall of her breaths as her heart pulsed with the thrashing pace of her lungs. Something cool and wet beaded along her brow. Before long, a sharp and painful itch gnawed at the back of her throat, and her shoulders began to tremble with the stuttered beating of her heart.

“Mother,” she murmured as she buried her face into her cold and clammy hands, “don’t leave me…”

Edelgard hugged herself amidst the darkness, crying until her eyes dried with the burning weight of sleeplessness. It would be another hour or two before she would gently lay her head back on her pillow. Closing her eyes, she hoped against hope that she wouldn’t have to sleep through another fitful bout of nightmares and dreams.

* * *

“Yes, well-” a stuffy nobleman paused as he curled the tip of his mustache, “surely the war will be over soon? I can’t imagine that the Kingdom _or_ the Knights of Seiros can hold out any longer!”

He punctuated his sentiment with a hearty guffaw, reclining back on his seat. Such bellowing laughter irked Byleth, who until that point had been content tuning out the conversation for the subdued music of the birds, chirping about in the courtyard as they flitted to and fro.

“No, no, neither can I,” Hubert responded, his tone ringing with the forced emphasis of barely-concealed boredom. The dutiful retainer crossed his legs from where he sat, feigning (albeit begrudgingly) delight in sipping his tea. “What does her majesty think?” he asked unexpectedly. He swiveled from where he sat, facing the uncharacteristically taciturn emperor with a knowing gleam in his eye. “Do you think our victory over the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus will be swift? Say - in a month, perhaps?”

Byleth placed her teacup back on her saucer with indelicate precision. The loud clang of porcelain against ceramic caused a slight jolt in Edelgard, who seemed to snap out of her glum stupor.

“Your majesty?” Hubert repeated, this time inflecting more concern.

They could only watch in anxious anticipation as Edelgard shifted uncomfortably in her seat, blinking back her surprise at Hubert’s question. Something in the way her eyelids fluttered as if in a daze, or the manner in which her gloved hands clutched nervously at the napkin bunched up on her lap, gave Byleth the impression that Edelgard was lost in a trance.

“I beg your pardon,” Edelgard quickly muttered before forcing herself to grin through her absent-minded confusion. Her lavender eyes bounced from one guest to another, searching their bewildered expressions for a clue. Finally, after a few unbearable moments of stunned silence, Edelgard let out a mirthless chuckle as she straightened the skirt of her dress. “My mind was… occupied,” she said, smiling nervously. “What was your question, Hubert?”

The performed pleasantry vanished as Hubert grimaced through the tightlipped concern wrinkling his brows. “Your majesty,” he spoke after an audible gulp, “are you alright?” He leaned in from his seat. Something in his anxious movements belied his readiness to jump up and carry his enfeebled emperor back to her chambers for much-needed rest. But instead the notorious Minister managed to exercise _some_ degree of self-control, settling back into his chair with tentative calm. “You look unwell. Should I call for the family physician? Or-...”

Edelgard silenced him with a wave of her hand.

“Nonsense, Hubert,” she said, flush with embarrassment. The emperor shuffled some more in her seat before clearing her throat. “Anyway, what were we discussing?” She turned back to the stuffy duke - a guest and supporter of her cause who came to discuss the nitty-gritty details of war.

He was an old and stocky man, one of the many sycophants who _attempted_ to ask for Edelgard’s hand in marriage back when she considered them. Yet, barring the Emperor’s absentmindedness, he spoke often of how his visit was at least enjoyable. Even Byleth could see that he was pleased with Hubert, who labored to be the most gracious host despite his reputation for being humorless, if not downright insociable.

“We were discussing the war,” Byleth chipped in. She sat straight-faced, donning an expressionless yet nevertheless contemplative mask as she focused the intensity of her gaze towards Edelgard. “Fhirdiad, to be precise.”

“Is that so?” Edelgard asked, inflecting her voice with feigned amusement. “Forgive me, Lord Ochs,” she addressed the Duke, “you have my full attention-”

The emperor then proceeded with a more amiable temperament, discussing the logistics of their planned military maneuvers with ease. In the meantime, Byleth watched silently from her seat, sipping her tea as Edelgard performed the more patronizing parts of her imperial duty. For his part, Hubert sat silently, contributed when needed, and likewise resumed the delighted facade necessary for the Duke’s continued collaboration in the war effort. All the while, the former professor couldn’t help but stew in her silence. A word of concerned reproach fought to be spoken, hanging off the tip of her tongue as she watched the woman she loved smile with a restlessness clouding over her eyes.

* * *

Edelgard nearly squeaked when she felt a violent pull on her arm. She was just on her way to yet another meeting, pacing through the empty corridors of the Monastery’s upper floors when she found herself reeled into a shadowy corner of the hallway. She barely had time to face her would-be assailant when a gloved hand gently turned her by the chin, drawing her mouth closer until she felt the heady warmth of a kiss. The fleeting sense of danger soon gave way when a familiar grip of an arm wrapped around her waist.

“Professor!” Edelgard whined as she pulled away. Yet not even her remonstrances could convince Byleth, who found herself grinning when Edelgard nevertheless clutched at the lapel of her coat and giggled through her pleasant surprise. “You know we’re not supposed to be doing this,” she murmured into Byleth’s ear, before letting her mouth trail along the line of her jaw. Their relationship was new and secret, true enough, but surely the Emperor of Adrestria could allow herself _this_ one indulgence.

“I know,” Byleth brazenly replied. Her hands found their way in the small of Edelgard’s back, clutching the bunched up fabric of the red velvet that trained over her imperial dress.

With the momentary terror all but vanished, Edelgard did her best to stifle her laughter as she reached up for another kiss. It had been two weeks since they first danced under a moonlit night; two weeks since she shared with Byleth their first kiss. And in the short time span, the kisses have become countless - endless, even. By the time Byleth made a habit out of stealing her emperor away in solitary corners of the monastery, Edelgard learned to relish in the taste of her mouth, grazing the soft corners of Byleth’s lips with loving familiarity.

Byleth parted for a fleeting breath. The button tip of her nose brushed against the curve of the other woman’s cheek. She loved the feel of her hand draping over the shape of her face and the thrilling sensation of her thumb circling close to the nape of Edelgard’s neck.

“I was worried about you,” she said in-between kisses. Byleth meant to pull her emperor into a reprieve from her daily worries. Still, holding her then, she couldn’t help but dispel the illusion. After all, Edelgard’s behavior during their afternoon tea party was definite cause for concern.

“Worried?” Edelgard asked back in genuine surprise. “Whatever for?”

Byleth frowned, her features wrinkling with concern. She brushed back an errant strand of Edelgard’s hair as it draped over her eye. “Hubert was right. You don’t look well. Have you gotten any sleep-”

“Oh, never mind Hubert!” Edelgard bluffed. “He worries too much.”

“El,” Byleth spoke reproachfully. She stared back, wholly unconvinced.

“I’m _fine!_ ” Edelgard furled her brows. She tried to brush the matter off by leaning in and resuming the tryst. Yet much to her surprise, Byleth rebuffed her with a stern and tight-lipped frown. “I promise you,” Edelgard said, growing irritated with her professor’s stubbornness, “there’s absolutely nothing to be concerned about!”

For her part, Byleth couldn’t help but bite back another word of protest. Looking at Edelgard, she saw the strain of dark circles beneath her eyes, the unseemly pallor of her complexion, and the way she nervously averted her gaze whenever Byleth spoke with candor. Though Edelgard was never one to open up so easily, Byleth would be lying if she denied the knot that tightened in her chest whenever she was pushed away.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Edelgard said suddenly, stepping away from the corner where, just moments before, they were locked in an intimate embrace. “I have a meeting to attend.”

“El!”

But Byleth’s call went unanswered. Edelgard turned away and proceeded down the corridor, re-focused on her task now that Byleth refused any sort of deflection on her part. The former professor would have followed. She _wanted_ to follow, but there was something callous in the echo of Edelgard’s footfall. Instead, she clung to her desolate corner, letting one arm tug at the other as she found herself suddenly cold, suddenly alone.

* * *

_The next time Edelgard spent an afternoon outside drinking tea, the leaves had already browned from the crisp autumn air. The cerulean blue skies bore a tinge of gray, and the wispy clouds slithered over, ushering forth dark and thunderous rumbles from the horizon. By then, the week she was promised to spend in the Kingdom had turned into months. The absence that her mother promised her would only be a few short days had turned into weeks._

_Yet all she could do was release a drawn-out sigh, staring aimlessly into the swirling spiral of her Bergamot tea._

_“El? Is everything okay?” asked a doe-eyed boy. He had hair the color of golden straw and eyes that were blue and piercing. Yet none of these harsh colors prevailed over the warm glow of his demeanor, which seemed to shine ever brighter whenever he looked at her._

_Edelgard, however, could only frown in answer. Maintaining her prim and proper facade (as Uncle Arundel taught her), she raised her cup and inhaled the aroma of toasted tea leaves._

_“You know,” the boy started again, sitting glumly as he picked at the slice of cake the servants had prepared for him, “the court mage said something strange the other day.” He paused to slice through the sponge, letting the point of the silverware scratch against the porcelain plate. “She said that I shouldn’t get too close to you, ‘cause she said-...” Then he stopped, faltering in his rather forward show of trust._

_“What is it?” Edelgard asked innocently in between sips of her tea._

_“Lady Cornelia said that there might be a day when I’ll never see you again.” The boy looked up from his plate, staring at her with a plea in his trembling blue eyes. “That’s not true is it? We’ll always be together!” But when Edelgard didn’t reply, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sink to his stomach. “We’ll always be friends,” he continued in whimpering desperation, “won’t we?”_

_Edelgard blinked for an endless second._

_Suddenly the ambient chirping of birds had died. The gray brightness of an autumn afternoon faded into the dark._

_“Won’t we, El?”_

_The boy who sat before her disappeared, with nothing but his words left as a trace of his memory._

_“Edelgard…”_

_It was her uncle’s voice now. Low and sinister, it crept around her ears - fighting to be heard._

_“It’s time to go, Edelgard.”_

_“What about my friend?” she asked, clutching tightly at her stuffed armored Teddy. She was in her bedroom now - hours after her tea with the golden-haired boy, rubbing her sleepy eyes as her uncle hovered close to the bedpost. “What about mother?”_

_He didn’t answer. Instead she felt a grip - cold and deathly - wrap around her wrist. It was pulling at her, almost tearing her limb away as she fought to stay in the bed._

_“No!” she screamed, shutting her eyes tightly to make the cold go away. “I don’t want to go! Leave me alone!”_

_“Don’t you want to see your brothers and sisters?”_

_She kept her eyes pinched shut. The teddy bear in her arms fell away as she brought her hands to her ears, shunning the many screams fighting to be heard._

_“They need you, Edelgard.”_

_It was deafening. In the maelstrom of sounds, she heard familiar voices - brothers and sisters whose faces she could no longer remember, all crying out for her name._

_“Stop it!” she yelled. Her ears felt warm and sticky as her tiny hands pushed further into her head, but the screaming wouldn’t stop. They called out her name - screeching in hollowed out sounds. “STOP IT!”_

“STOP IT!”

Edelgard flailed in her bed as she screamed and tore at her sheets.

“El! It’s me! It’s okay!”

The first thing she could recall was the warmth of a familiar hand and the telltale calluses of her fingers as they pressed along her cheek.

“El!” Byleth called out desperately, steadying her emperor’s flailing limbs as she gripped the lithe frame of her face. “ _Sshhh_ … It’s alright,” she whispered, eyes trembling fretfully. “I’m here now…”

By the time Edelgard opened her eyes, she could see nothing save the blurry lines of Byleth’s linen tunic. The fabric pressed against her nose, filling what air she could breathe with the persistent scent of sweat and hay. It took her a few seconds to come to her senses; to realize that she was no longer lost in the nightmares of her past.

“P-professor?” she whimpered, still somewhat stuck in her delirium. “What’s going on?! I-...” She choked on her words, realizing that she had been gasping for air all the while.

“You were having a nightmare,” Byleth calmly answered. She fussed away strands of sweat-dampened hair from Edelgard’s face, softly grazing her fingers along her temple. “I heard screams while I was patrolling, so I came here.”

Her explanation was soothing. It gave her something to focus on; something to distract from the screams that still echoed in her memory. Locked in her gaze, Edelgard couldn’t help but cling to the teal glimmer of Byleth’s eyes, finding solace in its solitary brightness.

She tried to speak. She _wanted_ to speak. But words failed, and, in their stead, Edelgard could do nothing but shed unbidden tears. Her shoulders shook with each tremulous sniffle. A mix of terror, dread, and shame filled her to the brim until she could do nothing but bury herself against the collar of Byleth’s tunic. For a while, the two were locked in that turbulent embrace, rocking back and forth until Edelgard’s sobbing dwindled into stilted coughs.

“Pr-profesor,” Edelgard whimpered, finally emerging from the other woman’s chest. Her lavender eyes caught the silvery sheen of moonlight, adding to their teary illumination as she readied her plea. “Please, can you promise me something?”

“What is it?” she asked, pushing away more sweat-drenched strands of Edelgard’s hair.

 _Don’t leave me,_ she wanted to say, but the plea was caught in the knot of air welling in her throat. Staring back at Byleth, seeing the outlines of worry and affection contort her features, Edelgard couldn’t help but feel her heart squeeze with terror and regret. How could she ask of Byleth - her lifelong friend and now lover - of such a solemn promise? Did she not burden her enough with the war? Who was _she_ to demand more from her? Questions and doubt surged to her addled mind, and before long she sensed once more the familiar sting of tears.

Yet Byleth was dimly aware of the storm brewing in Edelgard’s heart. She could read in her reddened eyes and trembling lips that something of a war raged within. A part of her yearned to know it - to beg Edelgard to confide in her as she did so many times before.

“Byleth,” Edelgard finally said, prompting the other woman into a stunned silence upon hearing her name spoken for the first time. Edelgard fought hard to swallow the build up of spit and coughing that threatened to waylay her plea. “Stay with me tonight,” she murmured, falling back into Byleth’s embrace as she breathed in the scent of her skin. “Just for one night, don’t leave me.”

Terrified, Edelgard tried to bury herself deeper into the embrace, nuzzling the bare patch of Byleth’s skin as she sank into her chest. She didn’t want to hear the answer, lest it was - on the off chance - a much-dreaded rejection.

“I won’t,” Byleth whispered back in tones that Edelgard couldn’t hear. She wrapped her arms around Edelgard’s smaller frame, squeezing tighter in case (as she rightly guessed) the frail and terrified emperor couldn't hear. “I’ll never let you go, I promise.”

Byleth pressed her mouth against Edelgard’s ear, whispering words of sweet promise until they lulled her dear emperor into a deep and peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to write a third and final short story to close off the "Tea for Two" series. However, I ended up finding myself in a dark place, which I don't want to be the final note for the series. Instead, enjoy this short drabble that explores how one's emotional scars can impact relationships and, hopefully with a little acceptance, start to heal.
> 
> Thank you for reading! As always, I'm looking for ways to improve, so I'd really appreciate any feedback! Thanks again :)
> 
> Follow me on twitter @LadyBergamotx


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